If I let you go

This is almost a year after the confession, and until a couple days ago I still hope he will change his feeling. Tapi apa yg terjadi bbrp hari yg lalu semoga bisa mengubah my pov.
After having a long chat, somehow I come to conclusion that he's not the right one anyway. Jg krn makin yakin that whatever I'm doing, the lable FRIEND still stick in on my forehead..  Pathetic... Yeah... That's the situation, my fam are gonna kill me for what I did... Mana gengsinya... I jump into the deepest sea sampe ga ada harga diri gw lg yg tersisa di dy... Malu? Yeah bgt. I'm not a person who can get rejection. Tp ya gmn lg, situasi yg bkin gw bgini, moga2 dy laki2 terakhir yg buat gw melakukan itu...
I don't wanna or at least try not to judge him about every detail things that he's been done, cm bs merangkum semua cerita nya menjadi sebuah kesimpulan dan mengambil keputusan yg tepat dari kesimpulan itu. Berhari-hari gw minta petunjuk musti gmn, kinda tired with all my uncertain heart feeling. Deep inside msh berharap tp yg diarepin bgitu. Ibarat nungguin angkot tp setelah lewat, supirnya cm ngijinin gw duduk di kap depan. Sadis kan tu. Mana bs gw memanfaatkan fasilitas yang ada... So now I just let it go. Bukan dy nya yg gw let go, lah gmn mw let go kalo stay aja ngga pernah, I let my hope go.. Let it fly... This is the time to build a new hope, to open heart, ear, wallet spy ada yg masuk... Hihihihi
Semoga Allah meridhoi nya. Bntr lg kakak gw pergi umroh, now I know, I don't need yo write down his name just like what I did last 2 years..
Bismillah...